The Equation For Love…

Lately I’ve been semi-consumed with what love really is, and what makes it work. Despite my best efforts to knock it out of my head, I find that when left to my own thoughts they seem to keep dragging me back to the topic.

I’m okay with that because despite failed attempts in the past, I still believe that love could be the best and most fulfilling thing we as humans can experience in this life.

The other day I considering where to start (since I’m analytical) when this song came on my iPod:

Now I’m not pretending to be so naive as to think there is a failsafe specific recipe or equation for love (or a successful relationship for that matter). I mean, half of any relationship’s success is based on another person, and for the most part you have no control when it comes to their thoughts and actions and feelings.

But throughout my pondering I have come up with some things that I think will help keep love alive and healthy.

By default, whenever I think about love (mostly because of my upbringing, but also because I think it’s sound advice anyways) I think of the wisdom Paul put to paper, that later became 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 which states:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

So from that we can put the following equation together for how love acts:

Love = Patience, Kindness, Gentleness, Truth, Strength, Hope, Endurance, Forgiveness

And the equation based on that verse for what love is not:

Love ≠ Jealousy, Boasting, Arrogance, Pride, Selfishness, Grudges

But I think what’s also important to consider is one’s capacity to be loved.

Ability To Be Loved <= Willingness To Be Hurt

We as humans are damaged throughout our lives, and understandably when anyone is hurt another person’s actions, they put up barriers for protection. These barrier’s can be handy, but the nasty side effect of them is that they are isolative, they reduce our ability to experience love.

Putting those ideas into action is much more difficult than acknowledging them to be truths.